Abstinence

It happened.....they found me.

Right when you start getting just the slightest bit of comfortable in your abnormally mixed Relief Society; just when you start enjoying and paying attention in Sunday school past the normal observations of the clothing ensembles around you and the spit up oozing off the back of the woman's shirt in front of you, heading directly for your fabulous leather boots.....they ask to you to stop by the "clerks" office for a minute. Just a minute eh? For all of you who do not know Mormon code.....This means you are getting a calling and unless you can develop the black plague between sunday school and Relief Society....you are going to get it. No way around it. If you re lucky like me you will also get suckered into saying the prayer in SACREMENT next Sunday. Boo

I have been infected. Infected with a calling and I fear there will never be another awkward silence to sit through in Sunday School while we wait for a prayer volunteer.

I think it is because I am O.C.D. That has to be why I was given this calling. Because it surely cannot be because I give off this maternal love. You cannot expel maternal-ness in a banana pencil skirt, an over-sized vintage pearl necklace, and a mohair Jackie o' jacket. It just doesn't work that way. My horrified face at the smell of children s bottoms I am sure doesn't help either.

I whimper as I dare not speak its name.....Sigh......BIG SIGH.........BIGGER SIGH........

Secretary in the Primary Presidency

How did that feel coming out.....like VINEGAR. I knew I had been under the radar too long. One year and four months in a Utah ward is unheard of to go without a calling. Save me! And yet I tremble at the thought of the work that is to ensue. OIY VEY.

This one goes out to you Nuva Ring!