Christmas

Christmas this year was lovely.
I took no photos
I worked 70 hours from the end of school to Christmas Eve.
I shopped frantically for three straight days.
I broke down twice.
I ate In'n Out twice.
I slept in Once.
I ate 5 pounds back ONTO my body.
I threw one Dinner party
I ate 5 loaves of bread.
I baked 4 four kinds of sweets
I drove to Lo and back
I made a gingerbread house from scratch
I carved a Roast Beast
I actually Shaved My legs
I watched my Gramps Play in an Orchestra
I did two SODOKU
I slept in the same bed as my husband....6 times.
I made over 500 gift baskets
I spent too much money
I got to Play Santa
I spent not enough time with my sisters
I felt the spirit of Christmas
I cried at the sound of my sisters Christmas Solo
I went to see both my sisters in their school performances
I saw my cousin open his mission call
I marveled at the Freedom of Forgiveness
I expanded my love and knowledge of the Atonement
I remembered why I celebrate Christmas
I felt the joy of giving
I saw a miracle
I grew closer to my Eternal Family
I loved EVERY. SECOND.

Merry Christmas From my crazy wonderful life to yours!

Abstinence

It happened.....they found me.

Right when you start getting just the slightest bit of comfortable in your abnormally mixed Relief Society; just when you start enjoying and paying attention in Sunday school past the normal observations of the clothing ensembles around you and the spit up oozing off the back of the woman's shirt in front of you, heading directly for your fabulous leather boots.....they ask to you to stop by the "clerks" office for a minute. Just a minute eh? For all of you who do not know Mormon code.....This means you are getting a calling and unless you can develop the black plague between sunday school and Relief Society....you are going to get it. No way around it. If you re lucky like me you will also get suckered into saying the prayer in SACREMENT next Sunday. Boo

I have been infected. Infected with a calling and I fear there will never be another awkward silence to sit through in Sunday School while we wait for a prayer volunteer.

I think it is because I am O.C.D. That has to be why I was given this calling. Because it surely cannot be because I give off this maternal love. You cannot expel maternal-ness in a banana pencil skirt, an over-sized vintage pearl necklace, and a mohair Jackie o' jacket. It just doesn't work that way. My horrified face at the smell of children s bottoms I am sure doesn't help either.

I whimper as I dare not speak its name.....Sigh......BIG SIGH.........BIGGER SIGH........

Secretary in the Primary Presidency

How did that feel coming out.....like VINEGAR. I knew I had been under the radar too long. One year and four months in a Utah ward is unheard of to go without a calling. Save me! And yet I tremble at the thought of the work that is to ensue. OIY VEY.

This one goes out to you Nuva Ring!

Thanksgiving slash December

Thanksgiving this year was fab. I was the hostess. Let me tell you, Monica Geller-Bing, and Bree Van De Camp-Hodge make things look so much easier than they are. Despit my bestest efforts to be oh so prepared and produce a fabulous meal with a lovely and enchanting table setting, there were a few hic-ups. However We powered through and it turned out Lovely! So good and so much fun. My favorite part was the Sparkling Cider....it makes me feel so fancy! My mother in Law rocked the bird and My divine friend Jess literally helped me with everything from start to finish! What a gem! She was my saving grace this year! The boys were so great to do all the clean up so us girls could run to Old Navy for some killer deals! Ty even let me buy somethings for myself! I was so happy!

After the madness of the holiday and working the whole time, We are back to regular scheduled days. I HATE IT. I have so much to do and so much to accomplish before the beginning of next week! AHHHH! I want it to be over so bad! I am so excited to have a break! Believe me Ty and I need one. Thanksgiving was fun....but super stressful and there was so much crap to do at the inn, it was definitely no break. Someday I swear we are going to take a real vacation without feeling guilty for missing work!

So until the hell ends....We are over and out!

I hate when no one comments on your blog! Can I just say it is so annoying. I Try to comment on other peoples blog pretty regularly...and me? NOTHIN! I am so t-oed. Lame.
Happy Freaking Thanksgiving.
I am thankful for blog comments.

Sisters Sisters...there were never such devoted sisters!

My baby sister Anna turned 9! NINE! How did she get so old? She is getting too big too fast! We went on a little fam vaca a couple weekends back to Island Park, Idaho and West Yellowstone, Montana. It was a ton of fun and really pretty! We had a blast hanging with the family. Here are some pics of our trip and Anna Banana's Birthday!

She took this photo herself...not bad for a 9 year old!

Birthday Girl

Our Favorite Place to hang out! Flour girls and Dough boys!

Birthday Cheesecake

Mesa Falls

We saw Grizzly Bears...huge. If you didnt know!

Family Fun!

For the LOVE

Every facet of my life consists of two words right now. TINY HOUSE. Tiny house is a project I have been working on since the beginning of the semester and I will continue to work on it till the end. I now dream in tiny house. I wake up and can;t remember if I really did have to change that wall or if I was dreaming. My husband doesn't remember what my face looks like sans the stressed furrow I am currently sporting 24/7. I can't remember what a full nights sleep is like and my boss is pretty sure I don't work here anymore. Despite the hell.....I am loving every second of it. I could not be more happy and more in love with what I am doing. I feel like for the first time in my life I am doing exactly what I was meant to do. I am dedicated, stressed, and thriving. Although it seems I have no time for friends let alone my husband...it has been one of the most exciting and fulfilling times of my life. This is my post to tell all the people that I love in the world....I am sorry I am so busy and just because I forgot to eat for two days I was so busy doesn't mean I have forgotten about you. I think of you all the time. I would love to be able to write each of you a blog to tell you all how much I love and appreciate you in my life, unfortunately I don't have the time. That doesn't make it any less true. To those of you who have gotten me here...I love you, and I am eternally thankful. This one goes out to you....

Here are ten truths about me. I felt obligated to do this because I never do these things. This is so that Megan PS will know I love her.

1. Every time I hear the song The Way You Look Tonight, I get misty.

2. I love fresh Sheets that smell like Downy Lavender, cold at first and warm and cozy soon after.

3. The soap in my bathroom has to be in direct relation to the edge and the faucet.

4. I want to be Bree Hodge slash Monica Geller-Bing when I grow up.

5. I judge woman by their legs and hair first.

6. I can only eat one item of food on my plate at a time.

7. I definitely pose in front of the mirror

8.I once peed on the front lawn of my ex boyfriend

9. Every time I wish for something its either to lose weight or lose weight.

10. I am currently missing 1/4" of Eye lashes on my right lid.

The H word

This is Halloween, This is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, HALLOWEEN! In this town we call home...everyone hails to the pumpkin song!
Halloween rocks my world.....one of my very favorites! nothing brings me more happiness that watching Satan carry Cinderella from house to house. Let me break down why I have a serious love for Halloween:
Candy. Candy and I go way back...we are blood brothers.
decorations, I love things fancy.
Parties....I have this serious desire to be a hostess, all the time.
I love dressing up. Especially when it involves fake eyelashes
Dancing the thriller dance...some of my best memories are crowned with this dance
Sugar coma: you never sleep as good as you do when you crash from a sugar coma
All Hallows Eve: you get to be evil and its cool.

Also totally unrelated I love the show Reba. Its so funny.
The End

What is love? Baby don't hurt me....don't hurt me no more...

Oh Night at the Roxburry how I hate that you have seared my instant reaction to this song as a head bobble and a cheesy grin.

I have the answer.....to their question. What is love?
Love is tender....love is blind....Blah blah blah... BULL. SHI*.
There has never been a bigger load of crap ever. You want to know what love is? I will tell you. This is love.....



Love is enduring Halo 3. Love is enduring Tiny House. Love is not minding when you get snot on your face from someone elses nose after a kiss. Yes I said that and yes I mean it...even though rereading it now, it sounds so disgusting.
I love my husband so much and therefore according to Newtons third law...to every action there is an equal and opposite re-action, I also might want to slam his head against the wall, and then put on my biggest ring and punch him in his man business....and when he is writhing in pain on the floor screaming why? WHY? I will say....You KNOW why! Ha ha just kidding...I love that movie though! Props if you know what it is.
What I mean is I love slash hate my husband so much. He is wonderful and the most irritating person on the earth. Even more than the annoying crow outside my window that thinks 6 a.m. is a great time for an hour long monologue. But the reason why I wish he would fall down sometimes is because I love him so much. If i didn't love him then it would not bother me when he and I disagree. Thats the problem I always say when we are fighting...if I didnt love you this wouldn't be a problem..but I do. Newton must have figured out his three laws of motion by living with a woman....only way it makes sense.
We love eachother....right now if you walked in you would think we are so weird...I am in bed (my favorite place to be) on my lappy, and he is playing...well, guess....I dare you to get it wrong! At this precise moment I feel the need to smother him in kisses and loves Slash grab the XBOX and ram it over his head until he or it breaks. Its a complicated feeling. The good thing is this.....
Both of us knowing.....Love is a Battlefield!
Moral of the story is this...I love him and he loves me. We fit. I am happy to just feel his arms hold me tight and smell his musky skin. He is all I need. So whilest I plan my next crusty to shoot his way for playing the game I wish were never invented behind it, deep deep down in the very corner of my small cold heart it will be sent with love. Love is all you need.

Save me from myself!

I am my own worst enemy. I need to be doing homework right now....I am not. I am blogging slash blog stalking. I also have been making my way through Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon Bun Ice cream....I am on the verge of having more loving feelings for this ice cream than my bed. This is no small feat because I really seriously love my bed. It is so choice.
I also decided I needed to work out really early in the morning...every morning. They are classes so I have to go to get the credit...well the problem is I am procrastinator queen right now and all I want to do is stay up late and watch TV with husb and not do my homework.
I suck at making my life easier. I need to get the ball rolling. However here I sit...still not doing what I need to.

I will say though, I am so happy to be sitting in a lovey home with my best friend, and eating super delicious food. I am so happy to have homework to do because that means I can afford (or afford debt) to go to school and work towards making our quality of life the best it can be.

Life is awesome when it sucks!

Schedule

Back in the saddle again....school starts and I find myself with that familiar sense of Anxiety slash panic. I am always on the run and always paying catch up it seems. Its great though, I love being busy. It makes me feel like I am accomplishing things. Even if they are as little as updating my blog. Big news in the past three weeks:
Broseph came home. He lives with me. He is a dram. Ty is occupied and I am lightened in my dish duties!

We got Ipod Touches from John and Arlette for Early Christmas Presents. WAHOO!
Our bosses ROCK!
I finally ate at Sammy's my husbands favorite digs right now.
I felt like I was working hard at losing weight and gained 2 pounds.
Ty almost has a job.
I felt a muscle in my body I had no idea Existed.
I watched my 8 year old sister sing a beautiful Solo in church.
I updated my blog.
That is how cool my life is right now.
Boom Roasted.

dumb,,,....dumber....dumbest

I might be stupid.....might. I am definitely in 3 workout classes this semester. Why? Because I became a heifer in Europe...and because I have too many credits and need a full load for a pell grant. As I sit here sipping my protein shake that tastes like chocolate cardboard, I feel like skinny peoples lives must suck. They never eat good food, they never lay around and watch TV, they never get the thrill of feeling their whole body jiggle as they run for the Ice cream truck. I mean what kind of a life is that? Really. how do yo appreciate the little joys in life if the big ones are non existent to begin with. Interesting. Maybe us fatty's have more taste buds than skinny ho's. It could be...it would explain the desire to have lovely things to snack on while sitting around watching really skinny people on TV...that's how us oinkers feel good about ourselves...we watch skinny people and laugh at them for being so pretty and skinny. Suckers.



Also here is something else, I really do not understand Food for thought. When people say that you know what I think? nothing. I think nothing. I just see a slide show of scrumptiosness and my mouth starts to water. Stop saying that. It makes me hungry and stupid.

another point of interest, Broseph comes home from his mission tomorrow. I am excited. 2 years in Italy does a body good. I hope he brings me Ring O's...a delicious cookie that is sort of like and oreo/shortbread exoerience however unlike real oreo's they are made with real chocolate and have a creamy smooth chocolate center....there I go again...heart racing...hands twitching...mouth watering...body preparing for sweet things. Delish. Anyway if he doesn't bring me home some cookies... I don't know if I will be as excited to see him. Sad...shallow? yes... but like I said Food is my ONLY thought.



Can I just say something else...remember the post I wrote about the sweet treats I planned to eat while I was studying abroad? well when I was trying to get the Image of the bakery from Google. I typed in European Sweets....bad idea...guess what I got an Eye full of? Nasty European people doing NOT so sweet things to each other. Including dude on dude and the female version of that scenario. Priceless. I thought...in all my years I never thought I could have a food gasm ruined...too late. That killed it. Good thing Husband didn't walk in and say what are you looking at...that could have been awkward. So next time you want to look at photos of something good to eat...be SPECIFIC in your Google search. If you don't..you will not be happy with what you find. Doo dee doo dee doo dee doo dee....

Bon Appetit!



P.S. Yes these are all photos of me eating...surprised? You shouldn't be.

Queen

In the dark of the night people will find her....ooooo aaaaaaa oooooo.

I am bossy. I like it. In the words of Ricky Ricardo,"Let me asplain." I am definitely a Type A personality. I boss.....naturally. I am quick on my feet, and a problem solver to boot. Therefore, people either hate me or love me. In the words of Lady Sovereign, If you love me thank you, if you hate me (potty word) you. Just kiddin guys. I feel bad sometimes because I know I have it in me to be a real Stinker wiener as my baby sis would say. I have let mean Megan out every now and then and while she is here she is fun and powerful but when shoulder angel says stop you are a crazy freak...you just threw a fork into the wall....I digress. I am trying to learn to keep mean Megan at bay. Its hard. Once I didn't say something I wanted to say really bad, and I felt good after.......like a year after. Pssh.

But I do enjoy a constructive environment to use my bossy skills for good not evil. Like being in charge of stuff. Then I get to be called the bossy head. I love Bossy head, but I love baseball more. Name that movie. Anyway, the point is if I have ever bossed you around...sorry I was intoxicated by power, just like Rasputin.



In the dark of the night .......

Home Sweet Home

I made it! I went five weeks without a hug or a kiss from my husband, without my best friends shoulders to cry on, without a word of advice form my mom, or a nod of appreciation from my dad. I missed the fourth of July my favorite holiday. I missed Wake boarding with my friends, I missed watching my baby sisters eyes light up in the new Harry Potter movie, I missed watching movies with my sweet husband on the couch, I missed my freakin bed, and most of all I missed my life....But it was worth it. It was worth the sacrifice. I left everything for an adventure ll my own and although it was hard to be alone and cut off from everything that defines me. I was still me. I became more of myself than I have ever been. I grew up at the age of 23. I thought I was all grown up, I thought; I am a married woman of three years, I am a friend, a sister, a student, all the things you would think a grown up is. However something happens when you do something you have always wanted, something that has been on your life long list of things to do. When you cross that goal off your list, the feeling of accomplishment is like none other. The knowledge that with the support and love of those around you, you tried and succeed. I reached and did not fall short. Its a pretty fabulous feeling. I saw things I never dreamed I would see. I felt Van Gogh paintings tell a story through my emotions. I saw the way the light glides over the smooth marble of the Winged Victory. I walked through candlelight in a french chateau. I Climbed to the top of a Gothic cathedral to see the view. I sketched the Eiffel tower. I survived London Tower. I saw Phantom Of the Opera. I experienced the luck of the Irish. I ate my weight in Scones and Cream. I had the time of my life, and I am so happy to be home. To eat Cafe Rio, to kiss husband every night, to be understood when I speak, and to have the luxuries of our amazing country. To know I was missed, and be greeted with Flowers, a clean car, a groomed husband, and a home made jewelry box. Seeing the world is unthinkably divine, but there is nothing like coming home to the place you love the most. Theres no place like home.

3......2......1.....

So I am leaving. I will be at the airport at 4:45 on Wed morning. To tell you the truth I am sick with anxiety and worry. I hate the thought of leaving Tyler for as long as I am. I think 35 days is really too too too long. I apparently thought I would be able to do this with out a problem when I forked over 6 grand and loads of paperwork and all my personal information. I was very wrong. I need him to live and make me relax and laugh...what if I turn into a raisin because I don't laugh ever again? (for five weeks) What if I get really wrinkly skin from lack of relaxation for the rest of my life? (five weeks) What if I forget that I like to sleep with someone velcroed to the entire backside of my body every night of my life? (five weeks) Wow suddenly my life is flying by. Well enough of that if you want to know what the rest of my life (five weeks) is going to be like than you can check my travel blog. Its travelintootse.blogspot.com Have a great life (five weeks) everyone! Wish me luck!
BON VOYAGE!

DOS

DOS things:

UNO: Be impressed. Be very impressed with my blogging attempts. Note: more blogs in the past week than the past two months....HELLO!

DOS: Sometimes you need a change, sometimes you want to channel your inner Gene Gray, Sometimes you wish to be the best housewife in the world and be Bree Van DE Camp, Sometimes you want to be referred to as sparky or firecracker, S
Sometimes you want to feel fresh like the scent of an ORANGE. Sometimes you want to play strawberry shortcake in a pretend tea party.......
Sometimes you pay $75 for this:

Sometimes all you can see is RED!

Oh what do you do...

....in the summertime

when all the world is green?

Do you sit by a stream,

and lazily dream and

watch all the clouds roll by?

Is that what you do....

NO

I sit and act lame,

I loudly complain,

and watch as rain flows HIGH!

Is that what you do?

SO DO I!!!

I WILL kill you all

Sometimes I want to push people. Even the people I love. Even my bestest best friends... I want to push them down soemtimes. Sorry I love you, and I KNOW the feeling is mutual. EVEN husband....especially husband. He is too big though and past attempts have failed. It usually ends up me in a crumpled ball on the floor giggling from his overly large sausage fingers tickling me in my ribs...stupid ribs. I can say that, not in the way that most people mean when they say they can say that, more in the I have purged the blog haters and judgmentals out of my life and so I can say that because I know you ......yes you reading this right now....will not be like that. Thus, that is all I have to say....SOMETIMES I WANT TO PUSH PEOPLE DOWN.......

Oh MY LANTA!

So I am leaving for europe in less than three weeks. I am so excited. I cannot wait to go soak up the incredible beauty and culture....and what I mean by that is a lot of butter soaked carbs! YES! Die victory is SO sweet! Becasue as we all know calories don't count when you are not in your home country. They just don't exist. Poof! Suddenly I am the exotic curvacious american with fabulous hair and oversized rings! I love this idea! I am definitely going to soak it up! But alas.....

the downfall of it all.. I will be without husband, curling iron, and a shoe closet. YIKES! my breath is shortening, heart racing, eyes BUGGING! What the..are you serious? I am not so sure about this. I mean really, how am I the hair queen supposed to live without the sweet smell of hot iron burning product laquered hair? I gues there will be sacrifices made. I know! How can you appreciate the good ness without the bad? Opposition baby. My ticket out of here. I will sacrifice bad hair, and a twin bed in exchange for pain au chocolat, gelato, and fish and chips. Done.

You know its a wonder that I am not 300 pounds.

4 is my favorite number..except yesterday it was 3.

Yesterday was Tyler and I's anniversary. Three years and counting! I can't believe it has gone so fast! We had a great time! We Checked into the Providence Inn B&B on Sunday night and stayed up late watching movies and eating junk food. We also took a lovely bath in a huge jetted tub. All thanks to John and Arlette our friends/employers the whole thing was free! We stayed in the New Orleans room...a special tribute to the only other love of my life. Wink! So we slept in watched more movies and ate our favorite foods all day! We had Indian food for lunch and Thai food for dinner! We watched a total of five movies from Sunday night to Monday night..one of which was our wedding video which I still love to this day. I know I am a HUGE nerd! We were incredibly lazy and I am feeling the effects of our over indulgence and laziness today as my midsection is nice and snug in my pants! OOPS! But the most monumental..super incredible thing of all that we did on our anniversary this year was...........WE FINALLY PICKED OUR WEDDING PHOTOS! Shhh...a moment of silence if you will. The ending of a three year procrastination is nothing to take lightly. I feel so incomplete without this nagging, uncomfortable pinch in the back of my ars. How will I go on? It is weird and I might not be able to be ok. Is this what having food storage feels like? If so..there is no way I am doing that.

This is one of the pictures that I love from my wedding that I didn't know I had until yesterday when I chose my photos. I know its a little late to finally post wedding photos but hey..its like brand new and shiny to me still!

Down to the nitty gritty. Although Ty and I have experienced our fair share of ups and downs we have never been happier, truly. I feel like we are more in love than is possible. We are so blessed and have a lot of the peace and sanity in our little family because of the people in our life who have been so supportive and understanding. We have had some of our biggest "growing experiences" ( I put that word in quotes because that is what glass half full Megan would say, but the real me, the this glass is ugly and not fancy enough to grace my presence let alone the 1/4 cup of old juice in the bottom Megan refers to these "experiences" as the S*@! hitting the fan days o fun) and have come out on top. We have basically had the life of a soap opera. But who doesn't eh? Ok so here is the low down on what three years has been like:
Moved: 6 times in 2 1/2 years
Made my husband mad enough to actually yell at me: 3 times
Babies: 0
Baby scares: 2
# of Universities attended: 2
Gone to Europe: 1
Miles put on the car: 75,000
# of jobs had: 6
Amount of Indian/Thai food consumed: 100 pounds (jk I really don't know)
Heard Tyler Swear: 4 times
Made too much food for dinner: Everyday
Fought in public: too many to count
Wanted to kill each other: ALMOST everyday
Fought about nothing due to my hormones: 36 times
Trips to the hospital resulting in pirate attire: 1
Concussions: 2
Switched sides of the bed: 6
Road trips:12
Gotten drink off of chicken: 1
Ty complained about my bobby pins everywhere: 1,395 days
# of times threatened to throw the x box against the wall: every time I see it
# of I Love Yous: like infinity times 100
Falling in love with each other again and again: Priceless
Ok so I know that was cheesy but I could not resist! All in all we are so happy and so excited to see what the next 3 years will bring. So this is to the future...Please BE KIND!
PS to my husband, you are everything I never knew I wanted, and I love you more than I ever thought I could. Thank you.

How cool do you think I am right now? I can tell you that I am thinking I am really cool right now. Seriously. I am posting and it is not a new month or been over a month since my last post. I can tell you exactly what I am right now in three words: THE. BOMB. DIGGITY.
Here is the sitch: I am so done with school for the summer! I am so excited! Not to mention that in one of my classes I got 99% and the other one I got 100% on every assignment and overall...again refer to above for how awesome I am right now. I know you all must be feeling like I am such a little snot for bragging. Well you are right and I am.
Plans for the summer:I am goign to be kicking butt and taking names while working here at the Inn in logan and Ty is going home to work for his old boss, Mon-Thurs. Then we will reunite for the weekends. I am so not loving the idea of sleeping in my house all alone,what with all the rapers and burgelers trying to steal me and sell me into a sex ring. I mean really logan is a pretty sketchy place. Even though I liive on the third floor and you have to go through three locked doors to get to me, I know esactly how possible it is for me to be raped or stolen in the night. I am a realist. Tyler is not worried. He is probably hoping that if I do get stolen or something else bad, we can get some big bucks in a settlement for it...there is always hope for a big break like that! CHA CHING!
Exciting news number two: I am dying my hair tonight. RED! Yeah baby goodbye Plain Jane brunette Hello Fircracker. I am not going to lie, i am nervous, what if my coloring looks bad with red? YIKES! I am taking inspiration from one of my Friends hair do's in years past..She was obviously way ahead of her time, she should have been friends with Kurt Cobain. I don't really think he was ahead of his time however everyone says that.
Happy Summer!

Bleh

I hate blogging. I am just going to say what I have been in denial of for a really long time and fess up. I HATE BLOGGING. It is so annoying. I hate that if you don't blog regularly like once a week people get annoyed and ask when you are going to blog next. You want to know what's up with my life? Freaking call me. I promise you will get way more out of me than if you watch my blog. Plus when I blog I have to pretend my life is so fabulous and I love everyone and that everything is just wrapped up in a nice pretty pink bow. Well it is not. Not even close. No one I know has a life like that.As my good friend Megan would say it is not butterflies and rainbows all the time. I don't even like the type of people who are all everything in my life is amazing and nothing is wrong...blah blah blah. Spare me. If I want to hear that kind of crap I will visit my parents ward in the UC. I mean really when I sit here and weigh the pros and cons of blogs...The cons way out weigh the pros. The only pro I was thinking I liked was the idea that some x boyf or chick I don't like is reading it and feeling like they are inadequate in my awesomeness...Thank you loyal subjects. You may bow. HOWEVER since I have blog stalkers and haters in my past..I am private. Which all this pretty much means is that I am writing blogs for exactly like 5 people who I talk to fairly regularly anyway. And YET! I am writing a blog right now. It is addicting. I hate it. I am (pardon my french) the blog's bitch. I hate feeling controlled. Owned. and here I sit. Playing perfectly into the addiction and getting my fix. Its not a pretty sight, sucking on the teet of mother blog. Well now that my guilt has abated, I will inform you on life..its good. The End.

Birthdays are for Haters

So Tyler and I are having birthdays pretty soon here, and I am not sure whether to be excited about it, or dread it. I mean I am turning 23. Now that's not old at all, at least in my opinion, however when I look back to my younger years and what I Had hoped to be doing with my life, it was not this.
You know how they make you do those exercises in young woman's where you write your self a letter to open when you are 21 or something? Well I am one of those dorky people who actually kept it and opened it. Did I think I would be scrubbing toilets and in an eternal ring of mac and cheese and Homework? H no! OH! Excuse me I forgot I am almost 23 now, HELL NO! I did not think it would take me until I am 26 to have a degree, that I would be poor beyond all get out, or that I would be living in a place as cold as Wesley Snipes soul. I did not think that I would be any where near where I am currently in this stage of life. BLEH. Dreams suck. I mean I have lots of dreams. What are the likelihood of them actually coming true? Will I ever be able to have a romantic rendezvous in a tree house in the jungle with candles everywhere while my sexy man lover and do the hibidee dibidee? Will I ever be able to be that perfectly hot x girlfriend you run into at the mall and your jaw drops as you think Wow, I should not have let her go, she is smokin! Will I ever live in London and go to the french riviera for a break from my ever so hectic glamorous designer life, while Charles the yacht deck hand rubs oil on my back? Will I ever be able to wear shorts and flats in the summer without hesitation? Will I ever be able to buy designer clothes at full price and not from a discount shelf at down east? Where is the love people? One year older and wiser too? Yeah freakin right, more like one year older, fatter, and bitter too!
Don't get me wrong, I am not sad to grow old, that doesn't really bother me, what bothers me is the realization that although it may seem that I am growing older I am not really progressing past the age part. Same spot, Same life, same poor factor, and same goals. Nothing is moving, if anything its like I have been paused and now the ghetto VCR is stuck and its on a really ugly frame. Like me wide open mouth and nostrils flaring, that's attractive.
Anyway, as I sit here and contemplate the life I am in right now, I cannot help but think how it would be much worse if I lived in Louisianan. At least I don't live there, then my life would really suck! Ha Ha Ha ......WINK!

Spring Break 08...oh well I know its 09 it just doesn't sound as cool.

Her is a quick little update of my spring break life this past week:
Fact i have eaten 100 pounds of junk food
Fact: I watched the Gas x commercial that says" your son rip, is on line toot" every time I can because I find it ridiculously funny!
Fact: I have watched 12 chick flicks late into the night with my sista sista!
Fact: I have had an emotional melt down( I swear it is like tradition)
Fact: I have vowed not to blog stalk a certain blog anymore and then broke my rule almost immediately
Fact: I have cleared two pints of Ben and Jerry's and an Aggie Ice cream
Fact: Bears Beets Battle star Gallactica
Fact: I have watched the office a lot
Fact: had a stomach ache the entire spring break due to eating of said junk food
Fact: Slept too much
Fact: Enjoyed every second of it!
Question: What will you do with the Spring Break time given you? it is not for us to ask why we are here but what we can do about it? Ha Ha just kidding guys!
Fact: The End.

Always the Student Never the TEACHER

So I have been learning so many things these past few weeks of my life. Although they have felt like years and crawled through every agonizing minute the lessons I have learned are worth every horrible moment. It is funny what you can learn to overcome. I as most of you know am a person of hot tempers, stubbornness, and completely emotional reactions to everything. I blame my green blood. Irish is not always a word to be seen in a white light. Seriously though, our color as Irishmen should not be green, it should be red! RED HOT! Let me explain shall I? As I am sure you can gather from previous posts, I am a little bit under the weather as far as the friend forecast goes. It has been a trial, and therefore a screaming mad roller coaster ride of emotions! However with the Irish side and its ever so lovely reactions I have learned what to expect and when to expect it.
First, my eyes get big and I usually react with something like "Are you Serious?" or "WHAT?"
Then I get red hot, burning with a passion from the 7th circle of hell like fury. I mean we are talking steam out my ears and unrecognizable speech.
Next, I am raw. Hurt, feeling exposed and wounded. Like someone just cracked open my chest, ran over it repeatedly with a large tread BMX,and then spit acid right in the center of my heart.
Following with a more rational, Logical, and analytical research session. I review all of the data and speak to my ever so trusted colleagues, and confirm diagnosis.
Finally, I am numb. No more emotions to be felt, not mad, sad, angry, hurt, or bitter. OVER. Ready to forgive and forget.
Now you might say, Oh my H word I feel bad for her husband, well you shouldn't, who you really should feel bad for is my best friend! Which is why I am making sure her husband has a life insurance policy on her because I am pretty sure I am draining her life by hours if not days every time I go through this rotation. At least then I will know he will be able to golf the rest of his life away and therefore hopefully be able to forgive me. Eventually. (I LOVE YOU LUKEY!)
Now they say admitting is the first step, so yes I have admitted the steps but that doesn't mean I am going to stop going through them. It just means that now I go through them faster. This is not the point of my blog, the point is I am learning that even though I know myself well and what to expect, That doesn't meant the outcome will always be the same. In a perfect world it would be, all would be forgiven and happy. The problem is there is always another side to the story! Whether the other side agrees with you, or you come to some middle ground is where the real lesson comes in. I have learned that although i wish I was always right, and everyone saw things my way, or apologized when needed, it doesn't happen. But that doesn't mean that I can't learn to be better, or learn to forgive despite what happens and to take the lesson I needed with me. Lets just be honest here and say that this sucks, and it is MANDO hard. However, it is so great to feel free from the anxiety and madness that ensues when things don't pan out the way we all wish they would. I learned that I don't need an apology to forgive, that I don't need vindication, or a posse to back me up, all I need is to go through the motions, and get to the point of forgiveness by horribly abusing my best friends phone minutes, and keeping my husband up late while I blubber incoherently till my eyes swell shut. Because ultimately it is not for me to decide to who or forgive, I am required to forgive everyone.
I learned that I am capable of a lot more than I think I am. I have learned that when my husband tells me the things he thinks are amazing about me, sometimes he is not just blowing smoke up my butt. I learned that if I put my trust in the lord, he can help me get over everything. Even my Irish tendencies!

So here is to all the teachers in my life, My incredibly level headed loving husband, my beautiful, honest, and understanding Best Friend, and my awesome, hilarious support group, Megan and Nikki. I love you all and I am so thankful for everything you do. I look forward to all the future lessons you will teach me!

Valentines Valentines Valentines

My husband rocks. I love him. We had a crazy weekend and he still managed to make it awesome! First of all we had a full house both nights of the weekend here at the inn. We had to turn over all the rooms on Saturday morning, and make breakfast for like 14 people. IT was real good though...not going to lie. Raspberry almond stuffed french toast, sausage and fresh fruit. DEELISH! We also had a wedding...which I would rather not relive due to the utmost class-LESS ness of it. anyway, we finally started the Valentines day fiesta late saturday evening. Tyler surprised me with BEAUTIFUL 2 carat CZ Diamond Stud earrings. THEY ARE HUGE! No joke...take up my entire ear lobe..so of course, they are totally me! He also gave me a silicon basting brush which I have been seriously coveting for quite some time..and flowers. He also made sure to get all cute for me and put on cologne. What a great husband. I love him. So I had the entire family room set up as like a little love getaway. We had really pretty linens on the floor with a little table with our pretty plates and fancy glasses. I had 5 bouquets of gorgeous white and green flowers surrounding us, with 50 candles of all different shapes and sizes..all white surrounding us. It was so beautiful and romantic! We ordered take out from the restaurant we went on our first valentines day date, and had bubbly! For desert I had made Ty home made Oreos...but I made it in the shape of a giant heart..like 2 feet big! It was very tasty! We snuggled up close and watched a movie and ate our delicious desert! It was a great Valentines day! We had a lot of fun, until we had to wake up early the nest day for all the getaway couples staying at the inn, and make them breakfast. It was really great though. I also got Ty a new movie..forgot to say that. OOPs!





So on Monday I went to the eye doctor and got new glasses, new contacts and a new prescription. LAME! I am like a triple threat...NERD STYLE! Either way I am hoping to go for the whole sexy librarian and less tech support. YIKES!
So after all the fattening loveliness of the weekend. I am now on lose weight and look hot for 23rd birthday diet. I really hope it works out. I am dedicated and decided I want to be skinny so that I can feel all sassy and cute for the whole getting older thing...BLEH.
Anyway, hope you all had a great weekend!

First Post!

Ok so I know I have had a blog for a while but now that I am private I feel like this is my first real post ever. Weird? Probably. I am just thinking that I maybe I have never been able to really be myself without feeling like I am walking on eggshells. You never know who will misinterpret what or who is secretly reading your blog without your knowing, who is talking smack and who is just out to make fun of you. It is a very freeing thing, being private. Which you would not think since it is kind of an exclusive thing. But alas my friends I will say that I am really loving it!
So down to business, My life sucks lately. Let me just tell you that if you do not want to know what I am thinking and feeling, this is not the blog for you. Because guess what? This is going to be a completely honest and open blog. So here goes.

I have a group of friends, well I thought they were my friends. Turns out not so much. Am I angry....HELL YES. Am I hurt......F YES. Am I trying to get over it and be the good person I want to be? OF COURSE. But that doesn't mean that I still don't feel every emotion in the book. Seriously if you ask my husband I am either crying, t oed, or speechless. I know I am basically Jane Fonda meets Joan Cusack all the time. Needless to say I want a vent blog. That's exactly what this is....be prepared.

My husband had a group of friends that he loves very dearly. A group of friends that I have never rejected, restricted, or rebuked. I have always let him have his friends be apart of our lives. I have never not let him play with them and I always welcome them into my home and my life. Have they always reciprocated? NO. His friends were so ridiculously mean to me and him when we were first dating. His friends have made some bad decisions in their lives. Have we ever been anything but supportive and understanding? Have we only loved them and given them the benefit of the doubt? Even when we did not agree with the decisions they were making we sat by silently supporting and trying to help the best we could. We have never told them they were mean or wrong and have never said things to purposefully hurt them.
Well you would think that after 4 years, of this there would be a level of reciprocation? Nope. Not where I am concerned. I am the big bad wolf. I am horrible, I am fake and I am the worst wife in the world. I hate it. I thought we were equal, we are not. Tyler is. I am his unfortunate wife. I have had friends of my own decide not to be my friends because I was trying to be friends with everyone. I have suffered criticism from every person I held dear, because I thought someone deserved an 800th chance and that we all would want the same in return. Well it never panned out. But do I regret it? No. I learned A LOT. And although this person may not be my best friend she is still a good person and still deserves to be treated with respect. Because I want the same in return. Because I don't think that we are here to hold grudges, to hurt others, or to ruin friendships. I think that if we all thought about what we are actually here to do, there would never be an issue. So now that I am off my soap box, you are thinking...hypocrite. Take your own advice. I am. Don't worry. Now that's not to say that everyone doesn't deserve the right to work things over, to take the time they need for true forgiveness. We are all human after all. Recently, I have felt a break. I have been hurt worse than I have in a really long time. I feel like I have wasted four years of my life. Trying to get the ever crumbling group glued back together. It has been hard. It has been sacrificing, it has been heart wrenching, and I finally reached the point where I feel like I have nothing left to give. I have no more energy. I have lost my gumption and given up for defeat. That word is never something I thought I would say. I am not one to give up ever. I am one to put my shoulder to the wheel until the wheel breaks. But I am at a loss as to what I should do? I am sad and hurt and I have no more to give.
SO what happens from here? Oh don't worry suddenly everyone is all gung ho about being friends again. Now I should be happy, right? I am....... halfway anyway. Its exactly what I have been wanting for years. So why am I upset? Because they all seemed to have decided after my very bestest friend came to my aide in a time of brokenness. She rescues me and tells everyone the truth and everyone is like Yes! OK! Let's do it! Lets all be best friends! Well what a waste?! I wasted years when all I had to do was tell her to call a few people and write and incredible blog! She saved me! She saved everyone! I am a total idiot for wasting so much hard work and heartache. That's why I feel defeated. I am lost for how to feel and how to react. How could I be so stupid? The truth is... I have no idea. All I know is as of now, there is nothing I can do, but learn from it. Accept it, and forgive. And last but not least...embrace it. Which is what I am working on doing. So there it is. The suckyness of my life and why I am a slightly more disgruntled version of myself lately. So if I give you the wrong impression or you think you might have misunderstood me, or we have an issue that never has been worked out...call me. I am all about that these days.

Let's talk about S baby..

Let's talk about STRESS baby, let's talk about you and me....
Seriously though. What is stress? Stress is what I look like every minute of the day. Stress is what makes my ever so relaxed, smart, analytical husband fold like a lawn chair. SMACK! Down for the count and he ain't resurfacing till the sun is shining and I have reclaimed all the pieces of the mess whilst going blind gluing each tiny piece back together. Stress is me writing this post at 3:30 in the morning. Stress is the reason that at 22 I feel the need to use an age defying face wash and moisturizer. Do wrinkles exist at 22? Honey please, wrinkles exist at all times in the land of Megan. Whether butt or face, same diff still there! Stress is why while I should be sleeping right now, I can't. I am too wound up. Stress is why my A word won't quit and my upper arms wave back to me. Stress is why I have given up on what used to be great group of friends and is now divided into the Montague's, and the Capulet's. Stress is why I can multi-task like the British are coming. I remember as a wee young lass, thinking how wonderful it would be to have a husband. He would be there for me. He would bring me flowers and buy me presents. He would do the dishes and make me romantic dinners. So what happened? I will tell you what happened! The minute I married him, an invisible tattoo was placed on my forehead that says "may I please have another job?" Now for all of you who could see this...Rude I hate you for not telling me it was there. And as for me, I have taken up Rastafarian hats. What is it about men, that the second it gets a little hairy they hit the ground running, it's like the little roadrunner cartoon, only we are the coyote's and the anvils are stacks of dishes and laundry. Don't worry though, I have a plan! A plan! A Plan! guess what it is? I will be the best wife, friend, student, housekeeper, mother (someday), employee, designer, daughter, and sister. Then I am going to be committed. Because there I will be able to sit in the peace and quiet, eat a prepared meal while it is still warm, and read twilight as much as I want, and with a jumpsuit, i will have no stress picking out what I will be wearing the next day. I will lounge on my cot and listen to the sweet sound of insane silence.

'08 was Great!

So obvioulsy I am horrible at keeping up at this continually blogging thing. So instead of writing a post I am going to show you all what my '08 was like! Me and the Husb and our fam and friends! Oh don't worry...there will be captions! As if I could keep my mouth shut for more than 2 minutes...NOT! Hey! Remember when people used to say that ll the time? Not! Well I apprarently did not get he memo that is not cool anymore. Duh duh duuuuuuh! Ok anyway, without further ado, her is our 2008 in Pictures!

I started the year out right by enjoying some mocktails with my best friend Meag!


Ty and I went to Europe with some awesome friends! All so we could get attacked by these lovely Italian pigeons!


Here we are in Paris, at the Louvre, We were in Paris for Valentines Day! I know so romantic right?


My Friend Kat and I just taking a break at Notre Dame!

For our two year anniversary in May, we went to St. Georgy and had a lovely honeymoon revival...WINK!


We went to Hawaii with my fam for a little over a week. The best Family Vaca ever!

Don't Worry he deserved it!

Let me tell you how our days were spent there.....Tyler dug two to three really deep holes a day on the beach. Then he would sit in them and let them fill back up on him....He's a Keeper!

....and of course, we got crispy fried!


Nikki finally got married! Here we are the 3 Megans. All bridesmaids, all beautimous!

With the wedding came my favorite. This is like one of my most beloved pictures of us...she helps me to try and stay sane.


This is waht happens when she is here.....my true colors SHINE!

I learned to be really good at Wake surfing and Wakeboarding. This is me surfing for like 1/2 an hour without the Rope! That's right!


Ty is of course way better than I am...He is always such a pro!

These are all my friends in Lehi at my farewell dinner! I miss them so much! But things change when you decide to go back to school!

I got a visit form my fam for Homecoming! It was so much fun and I miss them terribly!

My sisters all took turn trying on the Chester the Molester mustache...very attractive.

Apparently she is Chester the Gangster?!?

Shhh....He still doesn't know how creepy he looks in his sleep!

My sister and I had Megan and Molly's weekend o' fun '08. She is awesome!


White man can't jump.....White women can!

Ty's fam...kicked it logan style with us for x mas this year.

We are so in love

Super cute sis in law!

Family Photo we gave to ty's mom....She loves it...I know it!

We all decided the best way to feel the spirit of Christmas was to adorn one of the many christmas sweaters that ty's mom owns....needless to say, WE. ARE. SO. HOT.

Pop ya collar!

I hope this was as fun for you all to look at as it was for me. Many more things happened this year that we did not get the chance to photograph or mention, but the jist of it is, we are incredibly blessed to have so many awesoem friends and wonderful family! We want everyone to know how thankful we are for the people in our lives. We love you! We look forward to sharing another year full of great times! Happy new year to you all....even though it is January 17th!
LOVE